The Outage

How did Vanessa Carlton singing, hypno-funk listening, Wall Street Bets flinging Wolves come to be? Now here's a story for your local bar or library.

It’s unclear what these beasts are up to, and they’ve blocked all other communications except for the candy machine transceiver.

Around the same time the signals were received, a meteorite struck the planet Analos. Upon investigation of the crater, a bright light and sudden flash occurred, causing the Solana network outage on 9/14/21 ***. They temporarily shut the Solana network down to go undetected, and formulated a plan to sneak themselves into the wallets of those who dare click the mint button of the machine.

The wolves apparently made their way on to the blockchain through a quantum tunneling technique using a hyper-application specific integrated portal hosted somewhere on Analos. Analos is now in danger since the wolves have infiltrated its main infrastructure which is built around the Solana blockchain. It’s a fairly wealthy planet, brimming with intelligent minds, I’m sure they can figure it out.

With access to the portal, the wolves will be able to rewrite and change their own DNA, granting a permanent home to a mutant wolf every time the button is pressed. Legend has it an intern at Straton Oakmont encountered a mutant once, and he was never the same since. He played 1,000 miles by Vanessa Carlton over 1,000 times, in the office, in his car, even at his wedding. It’s a great song undoubtedly. The wolves are up to something hypnotically melodic here.

Wolves seem to have a hierarchical structure among themselves and their value. We really don’t know much about them in their current form.

We do know the leaders of Wolf Of Solana are the Prime Wolves, a gang of alpha wolves that have a carbon equivalent atomic look. These leaders chose to stick to the g code, they aren’t willing to compromise, and are under control of an entire empire. Prime wolves don’t give a shit, we don't think they mean any harm, but they definitely had something to do with the candy machine glitching out, and word is that they’re making their way down south, zooming fast, planets pass, and they’re NEARLY homebound.


Disclaimer: Popular belief was the Raydium Grape/USDC pool bot spam caused the outage, this sounds like something the Wolves would say.